I found myself at the park with my children yesterday. It was one of those perfect spring days, my favorite jeans, t-shirt, and sandal weather. And on this perfect spring day at the park with my two perfect children . . . I found myself completely preoccupied with thoughts of work.
I first associated this with PhD-brain. After all, I had spent 5 hours that morning working on a paper, clicking “send” as my children were (literally) climbing in the car to head to the park. So I thought I was just having a hard time mentally shifting from school to my family.
But then I realized that, no, this wasn’t unique being a PhD student. In fact, I bet most if not all parents find themselves struggling to be present with their children. In my case, being back at school might simply enhance the effect for me.
So that’s my current struggle—working to be present with my children. Not just when they need something (which seems to happen ALL THE TIME these days. My house is a constant chorus of Mommy, I’m thirsty…Mommy, I’m hungry…Mommy, I need…Mommy, I want… Mommy, she’s not playing with me…Mommy, he hit me…). I also don’t expect to be present with my children at every moment. Just more than I am right now.
In truth, I’m not quite sure how to do this (any tips, Reader?!), but hopefully recognizing and acknowledging the situation is a solid first step.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
That can be a tough one. I know that I’ve learned to try and block only certain times of day for work or for things that I just know have to be done. I’m a morning person so I’ve found that getting up a few hours before the kids gives me some time to get things done (as long as I’ve made a plan the night before!). You’ll figure out a way to make it happen.
I agree, Jen, thank you! A work in progress, I think 🙂 ~Kimberly
A difficult one, Kimberly…I sympathize with you! To calm down the left side of my brain (and improve focus) I find it helps to spend a few minutes listening to some ‘brainwave entrainment’ music to slow my mind and get into a more meditative state…in fact any slow gentle music should do it, perhaps on the way to the park? Good luck 🙂
A nice thought, Jas. Thank you! ~Kimberly
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