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Do We Learn Our Greatest Lessons From Our Clients?

Kimberly — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 14:41:11 +0000

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I’ve never been one to break the rules. I can’t help it. Even as a teenager, when you’re supposed to rebel and come in to your own as an individual, I only snuck out of the house once (to tepee people’s houses, in case you are curious). But I had an awful time. I spent the whole night worried that I was for sure going to get caught and that I would be in so much trouble…that I never snuck out again.

So it may come as no surprise that I am trying to instill this instinct in my children. I want them to listen to me, to pay attention to what I say, and to follow the directions I give them.

Yesterday, though, was a little different. My son and I were leaving the university music building following his (first!) piano lesson. It’s a maze of a building, with several possible routes in and out. Being a creature of habit, though, I tend to take the same route over and over again.

But yesterday, J-boy had a different idea. I wanted to go one way and he another. I was thiiis close to making him “be a good listener” (a.k.a. listen to what I say and follow my rules)…but changed my mind at the last second and went his route.

Why? Because of “Joey,” a client I worked with many years ago.

Joey was one of the sweetest, most affectionate 8-year-olds I knew. And at the same time he could be aggravatingly difficult because of his impulsivity, short attention span, and mood swings…all of which he couldn’t really help because of his Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) diagnosis.

Joey lived at the residential treatment center where I worked. And, as with most institutions, there were pretty strict rules about what you could and could not do. One thing in the “could not” category was to head outside without asking for permission from a staff member.

One afternoon, though, Joey came in–alone–from being outside and found me in the room.

Me: Joey, did you ask first?

Joey: No, but come and see this.

Me (getting armed to redirect Joey, always a difficult task): Joey, you need to ask permission. You need to be with the group now.

Joey (tugging on my arm): Come on! Come and see this!

I don’t know what prompted me, but I ignored the house rule and followed Joey outside. He looked up and pointed…to a beautiful double-rainbow in the sky. Then Joey flashed me a huge smile, walked inside, and joined the group without prompting or incident.

This is why I will never forget Joey. Joey taught me that, sometimes, it can be much more valuable to forget about the “rules,” the “cans,” and “cannots.” To take time to listen to our clients and follow their leads, because that can lead to beautiful things.

I wonder whether there are times our clients give and teach us so much more we do them. I’m often struck my what a privilege it is to be a music therapist and to witness the amazing growth and changes our clients make…even if they are small ones. What about you? What client or client encounter has impacted you and who you are?

73 Things I Wish I’d Known as a New Therapist

Kimberly — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 17:34:54 +0000

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You’ve finally made it. You’re wearing that graduation cap and gown, have the diploma in one hand (or at least the diploma cover since the actual diploma won’t be shipped for another 6-8 weeks), and are taking your zillionth picture with elated family and friends. You’ve done all your coursework, you’ve finished your internship, and now…?

Now it’s time to get professional.

The transition from clinical intern to professional therapist can be a difficult one to navigate. Below are listed 100 tips to help the new therapist maneuver from student/intern to professional. I originally intended to create this list on my own, but decided last night about 9:00pm to ask my friends and readers on Facebook and Twitter to share their tips. The response was truly overwhelming and I think you’ll appreciate what they have to share below.

Some of these things I’ve done, some are things I wish I’d done, some are bits of wisdom from other professional therapists. All are intended to serve as nuggets of gold to keep in mind as you maneuver these new waters.

73 Things I Wish I’d Known as a New Therapist

Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Join your professional association (for music therapists, that’s the American Music Therapy Association).
Invest in professional development (e.g. seminars, conferences, trainings, workshops).
Seek out a mentor.
Know yourself: who you are, your strengths, your areas for improvement, what you can do.
Keep learning about yourself: who you are, your strengths, your areas for improvement, what you can do.
Set aside time for play.
Exercise regularly.
Eat well. Drink lots of water.
Relish in your relationships with friends and family.
Take time off.
Criticize/complain in private. Praise in public.
Read (or listen to) professional books.
Read journal articles.
Understand your state registry/licensure requirements.
Understand your national certification requirements.
Take music lessons.
Attend at least one conference a year.
Join local business and/or professional organizations.
If possible, start recording your therapy sessions.
Create systems and procedures (e.g. for checking email, documentation, session planning, etc.)
Seek online colleagues and mentors.
Expect mistakes.
Learn from mistakes.
Stay current with local and state politics. They do affect you.
Remember that it’s about the clients.
Relish the opportunity to talk about what you do.
Take a break if you need to.
Develop good relationships with your professional peers and colleagues.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Reach for opportunities.
Dress professionally. Watch “What NOT To Wear” for some tips.
Keep learning. Be open to new populations, new approaches, new experiences.
Become a mentor. (Seriously. It’s the fast track for learning.)
Read about your continuing education requirements.
Start a folder to keep all continuing ed certificates and paperwork in one place.
Seek out peer supervision.
Spend time visualizing what you want to create for yourself.
Expect change–both short-term and long-term.
Speak up during team meetings.
Read the newsletters sent out by your associations/organizations.
Strive for personal balance.
Seek ways to nurture yourself in areas outside music.
Always have music that’s just for you that you don’t use in sessions.
Don’t be afraid to ask for supervision.
Trust yourself. You have more wisdom and knowledge than you know!
Remember to not make a client do, play, or create something you wouldn’t want to do yourself.
It’s okay to “wing it.” The unplanned can make for great improvisation…and sometimes the best sessions.
Show up. Be present.
Know what you need to do to de-compress.
Develop and continue to grow your “go-to” repertoire.
Change out your “go-to” pieces on a regular basis.
Realize that your job is as much to teach the parent/caregiver as it is to work with the client.
Remember: your 1 hour a week won’t create nearly as much change as teaching the parent/caregiver and having them practice 10 times a day!
If possible, find a job where you have a music therapist for a supervisor.
Own your success.
Don’t get stuck in the “what population am I going to work with” mode. You’re working with the person, not the “disability.”
Remember to take care of your body. Stretch. Exercise. Musicians can sustain injuries, too.
Warm-up your voice every morning.
Remember to make time for documentation. It’s a harsh reality
Network, network, network.
Always have business cards handy. Distribute them freely.
Strive to be a resource for people on music therapy.
Speak to every group that invites you, no matter how big or how small.
Remember that first impressions never die.
Take baby steps with the big picture in mind.
Remember the importance of monitoring your own needs.
Be aware of when you need to “fill the emotional/physical tank,” so to speak.
Talk to–and learn from–other professionals.
Listen to the parents/caregivers. They are the true experts.
Remember that every person has valuable input. Even you.
You know more than you think you do. Trust yourself.
Enjoy your passion. Enjoy the ride.

I again want to thank all those who responded on Facebook and Twitter. This would not have been nearly as good a list without you!

Music Therapy in the Mainstream

I’d like to take a minute to share with you a book and a movie that has us music therapists giddy with excitement! On March 1st, Jodi Picoult (you may remember her as the author of My Sister’s Keeper) published a book called Sing You Home. The main character of her new book is a music therapist!

I’m currently on chapter 3 and, I must say, I’m quite impressed! If you’re interested in checking it out yourself, please follow the link on the lefthand sidebar (check out the book cover). There’s also an audio version available on Audible if you–like me–prefer the audio version (and, if I did this right, if you sign up for Audible by click the link below, you can get a free book. Why not make it Sing You Home?)

Try Audible Now and Get A Free Audiobook Download with a 14 Day Trial. Choose from over 85,000 Titles.

Finally, a movie premiered at the Sundance Film Festival last month called The Music Never Stopped. And…guess what?…one of the main characters is a music therapist! Screenings of the movie are showing in select cities and I believe they’re still accepting RSVPs. I’ll be checking it out in Kansas City next week and will be sure to share with you my thoughts!

Important Lessons from a Deaf Musician

Kimberly — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 21:05:34 +0000

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My husband introduced me to this TED talk by percussionist Dame Evelyn Glennie. Glennie–who, incidentally, happens to be deaf–illustrates how “listening” to music involves so much more than using your ears.

I’d like to share this video with you because I feel it contains several relevant and important reminders for us therapists. Aren’t we, too, in the business of listening? Isn’t it our job to try and “read” the behaviors and the symptoms our clients show? To, in essence, read between the lines–noticing the little details like how their bodies move, what they say, and how their faces look? Then use that information to try and focus in on the core of what’s happening for them?

Additionally, Glennie shares her story of how she was treated as a deaf musician–an oxymoron for most people, who only saw her deafness as a “disability.” This, in turn, is a powerful reminder for how we treat our clients. How, in many cases, it’s not our job to “fix” them.

Finally, I’m reminded of the importance of creativity and play. We embrace this so readily as children and tend to lose it so easily as adults. How does creativity play into your own life? And how does that impact your effectiveness as a therapist?

This video rather long (30 min), but worth the time. I’d be very interested in your thoughts and observations, so please leave a comment in the field below!

NOTE: If you can’t see the embedded video, please click here to watch it on YouTube.

Anniversary Giveaway

This month, the Music Therapy Maven celebrates it’s 2 year anniversary! And in honor of the occasion, I’ve decided to give away TWO copies of my Therapy Business Blueprint to loyal Maven readers.

Last week’s winner was newsletter subscriber Jessica Edwards. This week? I’m excited to announce that Sara Devine is this week’s Anniversary Giveaway winner!!!

Thank you to all 21 people who signed up for this giveaway. More importantly, thank YOU for reading this blog! I keep it going because of your support, conversations, and questions and I am grateful for this opportunity. Here’s to the next 12 months!

How (and Why) to Accelerate Your Personal Development

Kimberly — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 19:55:27 +0000

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Have you watched some of the previews for that new TLC show “Sister Wives”? Although it’s not my type of show (I’m more into crime dramas and comedies), there’s a certain clip they’ve showed that has stuck in my mind.

In this clip, Kody Brown, the husband in the series, describes his four marriages as “accelerated personal development.”

You know what? I believe it.

This may seem like an odd topic to write about on a music therapy blog, but the thing is, “personal development” is an area of concern for all therapists. It affects our clients and it affects us as clinicians.

I believe that “personal development” will happen for most people naturally. But throughout our lives, we all have opportunities to choose paths that will “accelerate our personal development.”

One of those paths is marriage. Being married (or in a committed, long-term relationship) will challenge you and stretch your range of emotions more than you can imagine.

Another path? Have a child. Better yet, have two children (though I can’t speak for having three or more). If you want to be tested to the absolute in terms of your ability to love, to be angry, to cry, or to be scared, then you bring a child into your life.

But what about those who, as a friend of mine once put it, choose a less “traditional” path? Any time you venture from your “comfort zone” and do something a little scary, a little thrilling, or a little new and different, you are accelerating your personal development.

Try traveling. Try traveling alone. Take a college class. Learn how to paint. Take music lessons. Be in a book club. Present at a conference. Try public speaking. Write a book. Any of these (and there are countless more examples) can help you accelerate your personal development.

And you know what? As therapists, we are often challenging our clients to “accelerate their personal development.” The type of development can vary from challenging emotional processing to overcoming social skill obstacles to working with physical challenges.

There are two points here I feel are important to take away. The first is if we are asking our clients to accelerate their personal development, shouldn’t we be doing so as well? Shouldn’t we be putting ourselves through life experiences that accelerate our personal development?

And finally, often times these types of challenges are scary and maybe even painful (physically or emotionally) for our clients. So as therapists, we may need to allow time and be patient with our clients. Even if a task may seem “easy” to us, it may not be for our clients.

Is It Just Me, Or Does This Really Work?

Kimberly — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 15:50:00 +0000

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You may recall that, in addition to this blog here, I also blog at Psychology Today–though not nearly as often! This morning I published a story about an experience I had a couple years ago where I was able to use music to calm two boys in an active “fight, flight, or freeze” response. You can read the story here.

Blogging about that experience has gotten me thinking again about something I’ve noticed clinically, but can’t yet describe or explain how it works:

Somehow, music opens up our brain for being able to verbally process emotions and emotionally-charged memories.

I’ve seen it over and over again, mostly in trauma-influenced children who often took months to open up to a trusted therapist or staff member, yet who would start sharing with me within weeks.

(The staff at this treatment center joked that they always knew which days were music therapy days because there would be a significant rise in the number of children who started talking about their trauma–thus, more paperwork for them!)

I’ve noticed this elsewhere, too. I remember facilitating a support group for caregivers. After initial introductions, I sang Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” as part of a lyric analysis experience. When the song ended, one group member tearfully talked about the emotional struggles she had about her sister’s passing the year before and how she was supposed to be the “strong” one in the family and didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. The kicker? It was this woman’s first time in this group.

I don’t know how or why this works, but it is a common occurrence that my music therapy clients seems to open up more readily and easily to me than they might in other situations.

And I don’t think I’m the only one. My music therapy friend Peggy–the same Peggy I mentioned earlier this week–is beginning some co-treatment work with a psychotherapist. Their clients will start the session with Peggy, who will go through several rhythmic-based experiences. Then they head over to the psychotherapist to begin the talk therapy portion of the treatment. The psychotherapist reports that these clients seem to be able to access their feelings and talk about them more readily. Interesting…

So I don’t have any answers in this post–just observations. However, if you’ve experienced something similar (or, better yet, have insight into this), please share it by leaving a comment below.

And just a reminder–you are invited to “attend” the 1st Annual Creative Arts Therapies Teleconference. Listen and learn from a variety of music, art, and dance therapists…from the comfort of your own home! To learn more, click the pretty pink icon below:

3 Online Resources for Therapists in Private Practice

Kimberly — Tue, 18 May 2010 13:47:20 +0000

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Being in private practice can be lonely work. There’s no water cooler office chat, no people around to bounce ideas off of, and no one to help you process through an experience.

And to make matters worse, for many therapists (music therapists and otherwise), we’re also trying to navigate the ins and outs of running a business…which wasn’t taught to us in school!

You’ve stumbled on a resource here with this blog. One of my goals and visions for the Music Therapy Maven is to provide you with information and helpful tips about starting, running, and marketing your own private practice.

But I’m also not the only one out there! There are several others (some music therapists, some other therapists) who are also in the business of helping you achieve success in your private practice.

In today’s post, I wanted to share with you 3 other websites that provide information and support for therapists in private practice.

NOTE: This is the first time I’ve shared resources without trying them myself. But these are sites and resources recommended to me by people I trust. However, these are not personal recommendations and endorsements, but simply sharing information you may or may not find useful. Consider yourself warned:D

Business Success for Therapists. Laura Dessauer’s mission is to “provide support, resources, and systems to help therapists create a business they love, while attracting more clients, more money, and more time.” She does this through teleconferences, coaching, and home study services.
Smart Business Ideas for Helping Professionals. Susan’s blog (found at www.bizsavvytherapist.com) provides useful information, tips, and ideas about small business development, online healthcare, and social media marketing. Plus, for a fee, you can have a personal coaching session with her.
Build a Private Practice. Music therapist Kathy Lindberg wrote a “how-to” ebook on building your own creative arts therapy practice. She’s done it, lived it, and is sharing her information and knowledge with you.

I personally plan to explore all three of these sites and products in the near future. If you have any additional resources to share that you’ve found helpful, please leave a comment below!

How The “Undercover Bosses” Learned to Be Like Therapists

Kimberly — Thu, 13 May 2010 15:11:56 +0000

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Did you watch the CBS show “Undercover Boss“?

The premise is that one of the head-honchos in an organization (e.g. the President, CEO, or COO) spent a week “undercover,” working in the lower ranking positions in their organization. The boss of Waste Management spent time picking up trash, the boss of 1-800-Flowers swept the floors and delivered flowers, and the boss from Churchill Downs scooped up horse manure. Along the way, they spent time and talked with their employees, which inevitably led to some major organizational changes and new strategies within the company.

Basically, they listened to others.

That’s it in a nutshell. These bosses stopped talking and listening to other bosses and “experts” in the organization and started listening to those “in the trenches.” Those who maybe didn’t have all the training and education of the Boss, but who had, in many ways, had better, more concrete ideas about how to improve operations and increase morale.

Which got me thinking–isn’t that a big part of what it takes to be a therapist? Simply listen to our clients?

We have all this training and all this education, but our primary job is to listen to our clients. This comes in many forms:

Reading “between the lines” when trying to understand what a trauma-influenced teenager is really trying to say
Watching and “listening” to the movements of a patient with a stroke, so you can adapt the music to best facilitate their movements
Talking to the parents of a child with autism, being empathetic to their emotional struggles even though they’re technically not your “client”
Observing the nonverbal cues a patient in the hospital shows when listening to a song, so you can determine as best you can the next thing they need

Being a therapist is humbling. At it’s core, a big part of our job as therapists is simply to observe. To observe, to reflect, and to learn from our clients.

I’ve walked out of countless sessions, feeling absolutely humbled by the growth and insight a client experienced. Half the time, I feel I’m more a vessel for that change. I provide the opportunity, but it’s the client who made the leap.

It’s a powerful feeling, and one we as therapists are privileged to experience frequently. It’s the same feeling many of those Bosses felt, but for them it was unfamiliar and life-changing.

Now Open for Business: Let’s Work Together!

Kimberly — Tue, 04 May 2010 12:30:05 +0000

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Last week we wrapped up the Music Therapy Maven’s inaugural series: Private Practice 101. We’ve spent the past eight weeks going through the steps that need to happen to get your private practice up and running.

The feedback, comments, and questions I’ve received from you have been wonderful. I’ve never had this type of engagement before, so thank you!

Based on your response, I’ve decided to start offering more personalized services for you. Let me help you make your private practice a success! I can help you with: marketing, development, financials (to an extent:D), paperwork, documentation, organization, presentations, social media, and more.

To jump-start this venture, I’m offering the first 8 people who sign up a free consultation. But you need to jump on this NOW–there are only 2 slots left!

If you’re interested, please contact me at kimberly@neurosong.com with the subject heading “Consultation.” I’ll send you more information and we’ll set up a time to chat via phone or Skype.

In addition, you can now access all the posts from that Private Practice series by clicking on the “Private Practice 101″ link on the left.

Owning and running a successful private practice takes perseverance, creativity, determination, and drive. It can be challenging, and sometimes downright hard. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. The amount of growth you experience personally and professionally is truly life-changing.

I want to leave you with links to other sites that may help you on your journey. I have not personally used these resources, but people I trust have, so I feel comfortable sharing them with you:

EasySmallBusinessHR.com: Quick and simple human resources strategies for small businesses, non profits, and entrepreneurs
LegalZoom.com: For setting up an LLC and other legal matters
eHealthInsurance.com: Helps you find a plan that works for you

I also invite you to check out my newly-designed Resources page, which includes links to products and serves I have used, trust, and endorse. Check it out here.

P.S. Those of you who subscribe to the newsletter were the first to hear about this offer. If you’re interested in being included in future announcements, and additional valuable information, click here to subscribe.

Therapy is Like Skiing (Kinda)

Kimberly — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:05:33 +0000

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I went to Breckenridge last weekend with my Dad and my two kids. It was my first time skiing in four years (it’s hard to ski when your pregnant or nursing a newborn!).

My Dad’s been skiing almost yearly for about 50 years. Me? I’ve been a couple dozen times over the past 15.

My Dad looks like a pro when he skis. His skis are parallel, they’re close together, and he can zoom down a blue (intermediate) slope, turning side-to-side like it’s easy.

Me? I ski like I learned to ride a bike–scared to go too fast and heavy on the break (“Pedal!” my Mom shouted, “Pedal!!!”).

My Dad has waited for 4 years to take his grandkids skiing.

Dad would wait (patiently) at the top of the slope as he watched me zig and zag back-and-forth across the mountain. Beautiful, controlled S-shapes all the way down the slope. It would take me 5 minutes to maneuver my way down the mountain. Longer with the break I’d inevitably take halfway down because I was tired from working so hard.

But Dad waited patiently, watching me as I worked my way down the mountain, thinking through every step and every move my body was making, concentrating and trying really hard to perfect my form.

Then he’d take 30 seconds to zoom down the mountain and catch up with me. (Show-off)

But this got me thinking. This is what many of our patients and clients go through. Isn’t it? Many of our patients and clients struggle with the tasks and challenges presented to them throughout the day.

Just as it took me a long time to get down the mountain, it can take our clients a long time to get through a challenge. Just as I had to think really hard about everything I was doing, our clients usually have to think really hard about what they’re doing. And just as I got tired and would have to take frequent breaks, our clients, with all the working and thinking and trying they do, may have to take frequent rest breaks.

Although as a therapist, these are things I “know,” it’s always good to be reminded through experiencing and feeling what it’s like to struggle through a task. I can only hope that this helps me sympathize more with my clients, to have the same patience with them that my Dad had with me.

And it’s good to be aware that I should remind my clients it’s okay to take your time zigging and zagging down the mountain, taking a rest break if needed.

Why Therapists Need to Shut Up

Watch and Learn: The Mirror Neuron Song

Kimberly — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:36:06 +0000

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In the 1990s, scientists at the University of Parma were studying motor neurons in monkeys. They attached electrodes to a monkey’s brain cells responsible for movements. These electrodes recorded whenever those cells fired…a.k.a. whenever the monkey moved.

Monkeys like peanuts. The researchers set out peanuts for the monkeys to grab. Monkey grabs a peanut, motor neuron fires, electrode records.

Then an odd thing happened. The monkey watched a human pick up the peanut. Their motor neuron fired. The human picked up another peanut. The motor neuron fired again. The monkey hadn’t moved, but the motor neuron fired as if it had.

And that’s how these researchers accidentally discovered one of the coolest things in our brain: mirror neurons.

Mirror neurons are special brain cells that reside on either side of our head. These neurons fire when you do something…or just watch someone else do something.

You may ask: so what? The “so what” is that mirror neurons help tie us to other people’s actions and their feelings. This is important for:

Empathy. When we see someone feel sad, we feel a little sad. When they’re happy, we’re happy. Mirror neurons help us develop empathy.
Learning: One way babies learn new skills is by watching others. That’s why second children may learn how to crawl sooner than the first–because they’ve been watching older brother crawl. We don’t lose this ability. When we’re trying to learn something new, it helps to watch someone else do it–because of mirror neurons.

It’s also an important concept for therapists to understand…and it provides a bit of job security. We will never replace live therapists. Only a live therapist can show a client or patient how to do something–and let their mirror neurons work to help teach them.

Last December, I posted my first neuroscience-inspired song. I’m proud now to share with you my second–Watch and Learn: The Mirror Neuron Song.

CHORUS:

Watch and learn, watch and learn
Let your mirror neurons do their thing
Watch and learn, watch and learn
It’s time for your brain to change

1) Mirror neurons are specialized
One on each side of the brain
Near Broca’s and the inferior parietal lobe
Sending signals all over the place

2) They don’t care if they do or watch
They’ll fire the same every time
They influence feelings of empathy
Cause if I watch you, I’ll feel in kind

3) Mirror neurons may be fundamental
In how we connect with each other
They let me learn by watching you
Like a babe learns watching it’s mother

4) The implications for mirror neurons
Are vast, it affects therapy
If a client watches while I show them
What to do, their brain syncs with me

5) Some think those with ASD
Or autism, if you know what I mean
Their social challenges may be due
To broken mirror neuron circuitry.

6) Mirror neurons fire the same
No difference if you do or see
We literally change our client’s brains
When working with them through therapy.